Ever since I've been back in Lodi, I've been at war... not with a who... but with a WHAT. I have been at war with the television. Jeni and I made the decision not to have a TV in our apartment in Hawaii and so we are very shielded from the media in an wonderful way. When I first got back to Lodi, the images on the screen made my eyes hurt- they moved too fast, I couldn't follow what was going on (no joke!) and I still can't tell if a lot of these "reality" shows are real or fake! So it started with my eyes hurting... then my head began to ache as I processed all the information coming at me at warp speed. But just today I realize how dangerous the media can be not just for my eyes and head, but for my heart.
Everyone has those "soapbox" issues which will light their fire in an instant. For me, one of my main issues that I am passionate about the way young women view themselves in light of what the media tells them. I have sat with girls all the way as young as 13 to people my age and listened to their woes about the way they look. They are not skinny enough, not muscular enough, they don't have the right clothes, makeup, the latest hairstyle, jewelry... and on and on it goes. And as they talk, all I can think about is what words to say to convince them they are beautiful just the way they are. Most times, I come up short. Or maybe I'll be effective, but then eventually, after two hours of watching TV, these precious women will be right back where they started. As women, you all know exactly what I am talking about.
So, why am I bringing this all up? Because I am so fascinated (and frustrated) with my ability to encourage others and see their beauty and then turn to the mirror just as quickly to see my own need for improvement! And I believe we are all this way. For me, I get caught in this vicious cycle of caring... then not caring... then caring... then not caring... and I am wondering when it all ends. At the end of my life, am I going to look back and remember how great I looked? Or am I going to remember the amazing people God put in my life... I am pretty sure I will be thinking about my life experiences, not how I looked. And conversely, are people going to remember me for the way I looked or for the way I treated them and others around me? And if we're all honest, we can all agree that despite all the messages we are attacked with every day, looking great is pretty meaningless. At least, we understand that in our head... but what about in our heart?
Like most everything, the focus on outward beauty is actually a heart issue. What is going on in our heart that makes us think our beauty is the key to happiness? What lies have we bought into... what lies are we passing on to women younger than us? The reason I am going as far as calling them lies is because, well.... they are lies. Beauty, wealth, fame won't make you happy. We can simply take a look at history to see the drug induced deaths of so many rich and famous people. Happy people aren't addicted to alcohol and drugs. But even that doesn't make it a lie... it's a lie because it contradicts the Bible. Now those of you who aren't Christians, please don't stop reading now... I'm almost done and you might want to hear this.
A lot of people resist Christianity because they think it will infringe upon their life, take away their fun and lock them down into a set of rules. But believing in Christ is actually freedom! Freedom to love, freedom to forgive, freedom to let go, and most relevant to this topic- freedom to say NO to all the worldly expectations society puts on you. Every single day, the world (even though it seems impossible it could become even worse) is becoming increasingly opposite of the message of the Bible. The Bible says, "Love others", the world says, "Take care of yourself because no one else will", the Bible says all the money in the world will inevitably pass away and is therefore irrelevant, the world says money creates happiness... and on and on it goes. And here is what the Bible says about beauty:
Do not let your adornment be outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
1 Peter 3:3-4
All flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass.
The grass withers, and its flower falls away,
But the word of the Lord endures forever.
1 Peter 1:24-25
What this last passage means is that everything here on earth will all pass away (we can all agree on that) but the only thing that will last is what the Word of God (the Bible) says.
Everyone has those "soapbox" issues which will light their fire in an instant. For me, one of my main issues that I am passionate about the way young women view themselves in light of what the media tells them. I have sat with girls all the way as young as 13 to people my age and listened to their woes about the way they look. They are not skinny enough, not muscular enough, they don't have the right clothes, makeup, the latest hairstyle, jewelry... and on and on it goes. And as they talk, all I can think about is what words to say to convince them they are beautiful just the way they are. Most times, I come up short. Or maybe I'll be effective, but then eventually, after two hours of watching TV, these precious women will be right back where they started. As women, you all know exactly what I am talking about.
So, why am I bringing this all up? Because I am so fascinated (and frustrated) with my ability to encourage others and see their beauty and then turn to the mirror just as quickly to see my own need for improvement! And I believe we are all this way. For me, I get caught in this vicious cycle of caring... then not caring... then caring... then not caring... and I am wondering when it all ends. At the end of my life, am I going to look back and remember how great I looked? Or am I going to remember the amazing people God put in my life... I am pretty sure I will be thinking about my life experiences, not how I looked. And conversely, are people going to remember me for the way I looked or for the way I treated them and others around me? And if we're all honest, we can all agree that despite all the messages we are attacked with every day, looking great is pretty meaningless. At least, we understand that in our head... but what about in our heart?
Like most everything, the focus on outward beauty is actually a heart issue. What is going on in our heart that makes us think our beauty is the key to happiness? What lies have we bought into... what lies are we passing on to women younger than us? The reason I am going as far as calling them lies is because, well.... they are lies. Beauty, wealth, fame won't make you happy. We can simply take a look at history to see the drug induced deaths of so many rich and famous people. Happy people aren't addicted to alcohol and drugs. But even that doesn't make it a lie... it's a lie because it contradicts the Bible. Now those of you who aren't Christians, please don't stop reading now... I'm almost done and you might want to hear this.
A lot of people resist Christianity because they think it will infringe upon their life, take away their fun and lock them down into a set of rules. But believing in Christ is actually freedom! Freedom to love, freedom to forgive, freedom to let go, and most relevant to this topic- freedom to say NO to all the worldly expectations society puts on you. Every single day, the world (even though it seems impossible it could become even worse) is becoming increasingly opposite of the message of the Bible. The Bible says, "Love others", the world says, "Take care of yourself because no one else will", the Bible says all the money in the world will inevitably pass away and is therefore irrelevant, the world says money creates happiness... and on and on it goes. And here is what the Bible says about beauty:
Do not let your adornment be outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
1 Peter 3:3-4
All flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass.
The grass withers, and its flower falls away,
But the word of the Lord endures forever.
1 Peter 1:24-25
What this last passage means is that everything here on earth will all pass away (we can all agree on that) but the only thing that will last is what the Word of God (the Bible) says.
So why do we do it? And I guess I'm asking the question mostly to myself. Why do I obsess about something that I know in my head won't last forever anyway? The answer is pretty clear... because I'm letting the world decide what is important. And that is why my head and my heart hurt. The solution? Its actually pretty easy- and way more rewarding than spending more time in the gym of working longer hours. My heart needs to be focussed on Jesus. My heart, my time, my mind need to be focussed on the plan that God has for my life... and trust me, it has nothing to do with wearing a size 4 Prada dress. And that is where the freedom comes in. Instead of obsessing about myself, I can get interested in what is going on in other people's lives. I'll have the time to really care about others because my mind won't be occupied with thoughts of myself. We only have so much brain space... we can either use it to focus on others or to care about ourselves.
Ok, this is getting long. My bottom line is this: as women in the real world, we need to take back control of what beauty is. Beauty truly is found on the inside and its time we start telling each other that... over and over again if necessary! Mothers, tell your daughters that.... and their friends! Daughters, tell your mothers that... and their friends! Because, ladies, we ain't taking these bodies with us when we go so let yourself let go of those expectations and free yourself of being a prisoner of your own mind!
Ok, this is getting long. My bottom line is this: as women in the real world, we need to take back control of what beauty is. Beauty truly is found on the inside and its time we start telling each other that... over and over again if necessary! Mothers, tell your daughters that.... and their friends! Daughters, tell your mothers that... and their friends! Because, ladies, we ain't taking these bodies with us when we go so let yourself let go of those expectations and free yourself of being a prisoner of your own mind!
Before I go, I should say that there is nothing wrong with being pretty and skinny! Nothing at all. And there's nothing wrong with being healthy. But, what is wrong is the obsession of being pretty and skinny. Some people have it naturally and I say, "Get it girl!" but I'm writing for the rest of us who have to work at beauty.
I'm going to go eat something I actually like for lunch and not count the fat grams... or calories... or carbs... or whatever else we're supposed to be counting! :)
-Jaime
