It probably has already dawned on all of you that the funniest things that happen to Jeni and I involve her planning something and somehow that thing goes really bad for only me. Actually, I think it’s just God trying to get me to lighten up. Let’s face it, I am the more uptight one of the two of us (big shock, I know!) and one day I’m going to try and learn my lesson of not letting Jeni get me in awkward situations.
An example of this was Tuesday night. In church, they announced hula lessons would be starting up again on Tuesday nights. So Jeni went and talked to the lady and reported all the answers to my questions: “Yes, it’s lessons. Yes, it’s for complete beginners. Yes, it’s no big deal if we join in.” Then, when Tuesday night rolled around, she had to go see someone and off I went to the hula lessons with our friend Suzie. In case none of you know this, I am not a dancer. Well, I love to dance, but not in public. I have never taken a dance class (unless Salsa aerobics counts, but my friend Tiffany can tell you how well I did in that class)… I can learn a sports play pretty quickly, but choreography???? Come on! I can barely spell it!
The night started with two drug addicts fighting in the parking lot. It has nothing to do with our class, but it set Suzie and I on edge… we were freaked out, but also strangely fascinated. So, "class" started by all of us sitting in a circle and introducing ourselves (there’s only five other people there besides Suzie and I). Then the instructor, Marlene, whips out a calendar and starts telling us all the dates of the PERFORMANCES!!! She’s just going on and on about when we’ll be performing for the church and at this function and that event….. I thought I was going to choke on my coconut shells! (ok, there were no coconut shells) But then I realized she was talking about the month of April which is when I’m going to Africa. I interrupt and tell her I will be in Africa and Suzie shoots me this look like, “Hey, thanks!”. As if performing a dance that you have no clue how to do in front of your whole church isn’t bad enough, Marlene told her that she’d been wearing a different colored costumes because they all already had theirs and there was no more fabric.
Then we line up and class starts. Let me tell you how seriously Hawaiians take hula. Anything revolving around the Hawaiian culture or ancient customs is treated with the highest respect. There is a certain way to act, dress, look and dance… definitely no laughing out loud. I thought it would be a fun night of us white girls trying to hula, and laughing hysterically… but it was totally opposite. It was SO SERIOUS!!! We had to learn dance steps, arms movements and then she actually taught us the first couple of steps to a song! I was absolutely dying. Have you ever been in that situation where you feel so uncomfortable and awkward and you finally resign to the awkwardness of it? I just kept looking at the clock thinking, “It’s almost over… I can do this for ten more minutes.”
It wouldn’t have been so bad if she wouldn’t have yelled at us so much. “Stand up straight! The hula is graceful! There’s no punctuation in hula! (still trying to figure that one out) You look like a wave, up and down, up and down… you need to be smooth! This is not about you! This about worshipping the Lord- so focus on Him!” I had the under-my-breath giggles, but poor Suzie looked like she was going to bust into tears. I felt so bad for her! I wasn’t as stressed as her because she kept thinking about the performance.
After class, Suzie and I laughed (after everyone else had left). I went home and told Jeni about our night. We were laughing so hard. Then she said, “Oh, she did mention something about a performance, but I guess I really wasn’t paying attention… and something about not having enough costumes… oh, and maybe that’s why she gave me the name of someone who teaches hula lessons…”. I made Jeni call Suzie and explain to her that all of her horror could have been avoided if Jeni had paid better attention.
As for me, I really don’t know when I’m going to learn my lesson about listening to Jeni. A lot of times, she has great ideas! It’s just that the ones that backfire, backfire REALLY badly!
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3 comments:
Oh my gosh, I would have died. They would have been so offended because there is no why in heck I could stop from laughing at that kind of serious non-sense. How is it you guys have all the luck in finding the most horrible and akward situations that make the best stories?
That story is really funny. I think that we should write a book. And I'm NOT joking. It would be a compilation of all the horrible & awkward things that have happened to us. No doubt, it would end up being a series.....
It's Jeni I tell you... and it's my fault for not asking more questions.
PS We all need to get a life... we're the only three that write to each other...
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