Most Annoying Blog

I just finished writing this blog. ANd yes, I realize HOW annoying it is. But I'm still going to blog it because I've been really bad about blogging lately. Take my advice, don't continue reading.


I LOVE when kids tell stories about their parents.
As I type, I have a little boy telling me about a helicopter who crashed. "The man inside had his arm fell off." Yes, all this while I'm typing. Now he is telling me that he never cries, "Never, ever, ever." OK, I thought I could listen and type but I think I missed a huge part of that story. His last sentence, "My mom kicks my butt on the bed, then she throws the blanket on me, and then turns off the light and says, 'Goodnight.'"
Before you get freaked out that he is being abused, this is the story that made me walk to the computer to type on the blog:

I just told him to go play games so I could type. He brought his toys back to MY desk and has been talking about how he loves Hawaii and how he thinks there is going to be a hurricane and how he hates hurricanes). He won't stop talking.

Abe: "Miss Elson, the warerabbit ate all the vegetables."
Me:"What's a warerabbit?"
Abe: "It's the warerabbit that ate all the vegetables. When he was little, he didn't eat any of his vegetables. But then he ate them and got big. Grummet ate all the melons."
Me: "Who is Grummet?"
Abe: "Wallace's dog."
(I think it's time for me to leave this conversation. It's just so random and fun...)

So, before you think I"m on crack, let me write down our previous conversation (the one that made me want to blog):
Abe: My mom and dad are being mean to each other.
Me: That's too bad.
Abe: Yeah, my mom wants to marry someone else. Someone who is nice to her.
Me: No... Your mom doesn't want to marry someone else.
Abe: Yes she does. My dad is mean to her.
Me: How is he mean to her?
Abe: When she is in asleep, he jumps on her. And burps in her face. She gets mad.
Me: Oh (trying to get work done)
Abe: Yeah. And she gets mad and comes and sleeps with me. But she kicks me out of the bed.
Me: What?
Abe: Yeah, she kicks me with her feet out of her bed.


Latest conversation:
Abe: Do you watch the news everyday?
Me: No, I don't have a TV.
Abe: Oh, so you just have fans and stuff?
Me: Yeah.
Abe: Where do you live?
Me: By Waimea Bay.
Abe: Do you know tidal waves?
Me: Yeah
They get really big and fall on the whole city and then everyone dies.
Me: Wow.
Abe: I like McDonald's
Abe: I think it's in Kaneohe
Abe: Do you know where Kaneohe is?...

I'm going to go home now.

He Shot Me!

I was thinking that maybe I should give a quick Africa update. Yesterday I had to drive to Honolulu to get my first sets of shots. I got four shots yesterday and have to go back in a month to get three more. On top of that, I have three oral vaccinations to take. The doctor who sat and explained everything to me was so funny. He had a dry sense of humor so I couldn’t tell if he knew if he was funny or not. But a couple of things he said were so stinkin’ hilarious. I’ll tell you them even though the funniest part of them was his accent and body language and I don’t think it will come across as funny.


1. At the beginning of the appointment I asked him if I needed a rabies shot and he said he wasn’t too worried about rabies. But then at the end of the appointment, he said, “Don’t go near any animals in case they bite. That’s just common sense (his favorite saying). All animals bite so just don’t go doing anything stupid like petting them.”
Me: “Well, what about rats, don’t they bite?” (I was thinking about the rabies shot again)
Him: “Of course they bite! All animals bite! Even domestic housecats will bite! That’s just common sense!”
Me: “Oh, right. I’m sorry.”

2. He kept talking about how bad his day was. He was saying that they moved his office so someone else could move into his. So the one we were in wasn’t his. There were all sorts of fake flowers everywhere and tons of pictures of this fluffy dog. He was looking for some band aids and was mumbling under his breath, “This is the worst day…. they moved my office… look at this place! Flowers!!! I look gay! I’m not gay! Look at that dog! Give me a break!”

3. After he gave me the shots, he was putting band aids on them and I asked him if they were bleeding. His response,:“Of course they’re bleeding! Anytime you puncture yourself with a needle, there’s going to be blood. That’s just common sense!”

Anyway, I seriously have so many moments in my life where I am convinced that I am on Candid Camera. But the shots went pretty well. The worst part about them was the name of the diseases that they are vaccinating me for: Typhoid fever, Hepatitis A and B, yellow fever, meningitis, malaria, rabid rat disease... :).

In other news about Africa, I should be getting my plane tickets soon. They sent me a preliminary itinerary. There are like 10 pastors going and then about seven people like me going from all over the US. Since we are leaving from all different places, we will all fly separately to London where we’ll meet up and go to Africa together. In the group of the seven people, it seems like there are two married couples and the rest are a pretty equal mix of guys and girls. I’ll get to spend about a week and a half in Lodi before I leave from San Francisco for London and then about three days in Lodi after the trip before I come back to Hawaii.

God has been so faithful to continue to prepare my heart. The last two weeks or so, I have been really distracted by dumb stuff going on around me here, but God has been calling me back to Him. The verse Psalm 51:10 has been the verse I’ve been praying, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

I’ll be sure to do a better job of keeping everyone updated.

Friends Don't Let Friends Camp

Jeni and I went camping this weekend with our church. It's no secret that I am not much of a camper... especially when the campsite is only 20 minutes away from my bed, but I went anyway to meet new people and all. But the night actually reminded me of why I don't like to camp. :)

I probably could go on and on, but the major problems were: the puddles of water on the tent floor since it rained all night; the borrowed sleeping bag I slept in that smelled like mildew; the fact that NO ONE wanted to eat smores!!!; a wild rooster climbed on top of our tent at five in the morning to start it's morning cock-a-doodle-dooling; and since I slept (or stayed awake all night) in puddles of water, I am now super sick.

One good thing about having a bad night like that is coming home to a warm and comfortable bed and REALLY appreciating it! Oh, and another good thing... we both got some serious snuggle time in- and not with each other! I spent the night snuggling with our air mattress pump, two pairs of shorts, a spare sweatshirt and a digital camera- and Jeni cuddled with our backpack, the car keys, one phone and three baseball hats. Since the ground was puddling, we had to put everything on our air mattress with us. You can probably understand why we didn't sleep at all.

We only took like two pictures (but we really wish we would have taken more)... I'll try to post them tomorrow.

Sunset

For the wrath of God is revealed in heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. For since the creation of the world, His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts and their foolish heart were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools and changed the glory of the incorruptible GOd into an image made like corruptible man- and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. Romans 1:18-23


Last night, Jeni was running on the beach and I was sitting and watching the sunset (my back is bothering me... not that I would be running anyway!), and I was just thinking that God made our earth so beautiful. And no matter how hard we try to capture the beauty with a camera or even art, we can't even come close to what our eyes actually see.

Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day is a funny thing to a teacher. It's exciting because it's a Day of Love and you just want to love the life out of your little ones. But it's also the Day of Sugar. Everyone and their mom sends chocolate and sometimes pure sugar to school. And it's NOT ONLY for their own child, but enough for EVERY child in your class. You veteran teachers (mom and Jill) are probably thinking, "You let them eat that candy?! You fool!" But I do. I haven't learned yet.

In my 3 lengthy years of teaching I have yet to have a great Valentines or even just an ok Valentines Day (except for today :D. Today was ok.). My first year teaching I spent 4 or 5 hours decorating my room with pink and red hearts. Three to four hours, did you get that? I don't even spend that much time cleaning my apartment. I was that excited about Valentines Day. My kids came in my class the next day and all my boys (4th grade of course) said, "Yuck!!! Why is our room pink?" And my girls could have cared less.

I don't remember much about Valentines Day last year except that my kids were pretty wild and one of them threw up. They were wild again today. SUPER WILD. I made the mistake of letting them pick out two treats to eat in class. One boy (Hale) picked out a whole candy bar and ate the WHOLE thing. I didn't know kindergarten could eat a whole candy bar. But he did, and then he chased it down with a package of pure colored sugar. You know the candy. It has a white sugar stick that you use to get the other sugar out with. Just a side note, that was my favorite candy growing up. One of my kids gave me a package of it today- I was soooooo excited. And then someone else took it. Can you believe that? Kindergartener thieves, who would have thought?
BUT.... there were two things that happened today that made my day.

First thing: One of my girls was sucking on a lollipop. She walked up to me, stuck it out right in front of my face and said, "Auntie, want a lick?"

Second thing: That boy Hale, the one who ate 2 and a half cups of sugar today, he's one of my favorite kids. (not that teachers have favorites ;D). He's the most wild kid but he has the SWEETEST heart. Well today he came up to me and said something silly and we laughed. As he walked away and I said to another boy, "Hale is so silly." And the kid said back to me, "Yeah but I hear you yell at him." I think it is funny because A) it's just a random comment. But B) I think kids can see the complex relationships their teachers have with other kids. And he probably thinks it's really weird that Hale gets in trouble all the time but at the same time I'm always hugging on him and laughing at him.

So, I had a pretty good Valentines Day. I know it would be weird if the same two things happened to you, so I'm not going to wish that on anyone. BUT... I hope someone in your life did something to make you smile or laugh.

Livin' the High Life

I don't want to brag or anything, but Jeni and I are seriously living the good life over here. I took some pictures of our theater room for you guys to see what I mean...

Our home theater!

It's Freezing!

For the past week or so, we have had a cold spell. It's the kind of cold that makes you not want to get out of bed. The kind of cold that seeps into your bones and makes it impossible to warm back up throughout the day. People are even wearing beanies and if I had one over here, I would be wearing one too. Last night I was thinking that even though I'm freezing, it's probably actually not that cold... my guess was in the fifties maybe. So I looked it up this morning. The temperature here is:

High of 75 degrees
Low of 69 degrees

No wonder I was so cold! Hahaha...

Donce... donce like you've never donced before!!

It probably has already dawned on all of you that the funniest things that happen to Jeni and I involve her planning something and somehow that thing goes really bad for only me. Actually, I think it’s just God trying to get me to lighten up. Let’s face it, I am the more uptight one of the two of us (big shock, I know!) and one day I’m going to try and learn my lesson of not letting Jeni get me in awkward situations.
An example of this was Tuesday night. In church, they announced hula lessons would be starting up again on Tuesday nights. So Jeni went and talked to the lady and reported all the answers to my questions: “Yes, it’s lessons. Yes, it’s for complete beginners. Yes, it’s no big deal if we join in.” Then, when Tuesday night rolled around, she had to go see someone and off I went to the hula lessons with our friend Suzie. In case none of you know this, I am not a dancer. Well, I love to dance, but not in public. I have never taken a dance class (unless Salsa aerobics counts, but my friend Tiffany can tell you how well I did in that class)… I can learn a sports play pretty quickly, but choreography???? Come on! I can barely spell it!
The night started with two drug addicts fighting in the parking lot. It has nothing to do with our class, but it set Suzie and I on edge… we were freaked out, but also strangely fascinated. So, "class" started by all of us sitting in a circle and introducing ourselves (there’s only five other people there besides Suzie and I). Then the instructor, Marlene, whips out a calendar and starts telling us all the dates of the PERFORMANCES!!! She’s just going on and on about when we’ll be performing for the church and at this function and that event….. I thought I was going to choke on my coconut shells! (ok, there were no coconut shells) But then I realized she was talking about the month of April which is when I’m going to Africa. I interrupt and tell her I will be in Africa and Suzie shoots me this look like, “Hey, thanks!”. As if performing a dance that you have no clue how to do in front of your whole church isn’t bad enough, Marlene told her that she’d been wearing a different colored costumes because they all already had theirs and there was no more fabric.
Then we line up and class starts. Let me tell you how seriously Hawaiians take hula. Anything revolving around the Hawaiian culture or ancient customs is treated with the highest respect. There is a certain way to act, dress, look and dance… definitely no laughing out loud. I thought it would be a fun night of us white girls trying to hula, and laughing hysterically… but it was totally opposite. It was SO SERIOUS!!! We had to learn dance steps, arms movements and then she actually taught us the first couple of steps to a song! I was absolutely dying. Have you ever been in that situation where you feel so uncomfortable and awkward and you finally resign to the awkwardness of it? I just kept looking at the clock thinking, “It’s almost over… I can do this for ten more minutes.”
It wouldn’t have been so bad if she wouldn’t have yelled at us so much. “Stand up straight! The hula is graceful! There’s no punctuation in hula! (still trying to figure that one out) You look like a wave, up and down, up and down… you need to be smooth! This is not about you! This about worshipping the Lord- so focus on Him!” I had the under-my-breath giggles, but poor Suzie looked like she was going to bust into tears. I felt so bad for her! I wasn’t as stressed as her because she kept thinking about the performance.
After class, Suzie and I laughed (after everyone else had left). I went home and told Jeni about our night. We were laughing so hard. Then she said, “Oh, she did mention something about a performance, but I guess I really wasn’t paying attention… and something about not having enough costumes… oh, and maybe that’s why she gave me the name of someone who teaches hula lessons…”. I made Jeni call Suzie and explain to her that all of her horror could have been avoided if Jeni had paid better attention.
As for me, I really don’t know when I’m going to learn my lesson about listening to Jeni. A lot of times, she has great ideas! It’s just that the ones that backfire, backfire REALLY badly!

Teacher of the Year

How do you lose a 300 pound student with stars bleached into his hair? I have no idea... but it happened to me about 20 minutes ago. He asked to go to the bathroom and about 20 minutes later I remembered he was gone (it's VERY hard to keep track of three students).

I went outside to find him and there he was- riding on the back of the security guard's golf cart riding in circles around the parking lot. Another instance that makes me wish I carried my camera around EVERYWHERE!

Easy Street

Hey, is anyone wondering why I'm writing so much lately? Well, I'll tell you, Ashley! :) I have nothing else to do! :) Our second semester started last week and I'm teaching a study hall class now instead of English. I have 16 students total spread out throughout six periods. And I have an aide. So my schedule looks like this:

Period 1: 5 kids
Period 2: 3 kids
Period 3: 1 kid
Period 4: 1 kid
Period 5: 3 kids (but one is the WORST case of ADD I've EVER seen, so he counts as more)
Period 6: 3 kids

It's very hectic... ok, actually, it's not hectic at all. Right now, my one student and my aide are sitting at the table reading books. And I am here writing. And that is pretty much how my day goes.... rough life. :)

Jeni, on the other hand, has a much more hectic schedule, at school and after school... so it looks like your stuck with me and my looooooooooonnnggg posts and bad pictures for a while!

My Ride to Work

Ok, these pictures are really poor quality.... I was running a little late and didn't have time to actually stop and take the pictures. But Jeni and I had a conversation last night about us needing to take more pictures here because its so unique. So, here's my ride to work... at least the pictures I was able to take while driving. So safe, I know! :)




Pipeline Beach. There's a big surfing contest going on right now. I think Jeni and I are the only two people on this island who have no idea which contest it is.


Sunset Beach... I was driving... there were huge waves this morning and I managed to not get a single one!

My favorite part of the drive... cows!!! It's like having a little bit of Lodi here with us in Hawaii! I need to actually stop one day and take better pictures because the colors are so vibrant.

Baaaa....

Ummm... yeah, these pictures are awful :).

Pass It On

Teaching high school can be pretty hilarious if you take a step back and just observe. One of the things that is pretty comical is how much stuff the kids get away with. It always surprises me because I was never bold enough to try many things in high school.

One of my favorite examples of kids getting away with things is the univeral use of a school pass. Let me explain. At our school, the pass is a light purple color. They are supposed to be pretty detailed so that security or another teacher can tell if the student is where they are supposed to be or not. But, like me, many teachers don't actually take the time to read passes of kids they don't know. So what happens is something like this.... I am walking back from the copy room and a group of kids is doing something suspicious. When I give them "the eye", one kid pulls out a purple colored piece of paper and waves it at me- and I pretend that someone has actually given them permission to be doing that ridiculous thing. But, the pass could theoretically (and most likely) could be a month old pass to the library. The two most recent examples actually made me laugh out loud as they waved their pass at me.

One was a group of four kids who snuck off campus last week to get lunch at the gas station across the street. I was already inside when they walked in. When they saw me, they stiffened, but the most brazen in the group waved a pass as if it were perfectly natural and not something they could be suspended for. I chuckled and nodded back as they headed for the soda and hot dog machines.

The second happened just an hour ago. There are three buildings on campus that are three stories tall. I was on the third floor of one of the buildings and as I came around the corner, there were four students CLIMBING ONTO THE ROOF OF THE BUILDING on one of those maintainance ladders. They all looked super guilty when they saw me (much less professional than the gas station girls) but one bravely waved that pass. I should have read it just for fun. Or checked with whatever teacher wrote it to see if their assignment actually involved four students climbing onto the roof of a three story building. But again, I gave my "approval nod" and walked on.

You might be wondering why I just walk away when these things are happening. I'm kind of wondering that too. :) Actually, one of the first things you learned as a teacher is to choose your battles. If you were to take on every cause, every kid, every broken rule.... life would be miserable. So I try to use my energy on things I deem extremely dangerous or harmful: weapons, drugs, fights, bullying.... Also, in a school of 2,000 kids, tracking down those kids is near impossible because when you ask for their name, they always mysteriously forget it. Of course, I guess I could just look at their pass! :)